DH is a 46 year old man who loves to spend saturday morning in his pj's =
watching television.  He particularly likes Bugs Bunny and always claps =
when a 'bugs' cartoon comes on.  His family makes him eggs on toast as a =
special treat and more often than not he spills them on himself while =
watching the cartoons.  People wonder if DH can really consent to sexual =
behaviour.

Did anyone notice a huge shift here?  Of course, DH stands for Dave =
Hingsburger and that be's me.  All that was written is true, but there =
is much more to me than this little scenario depicts.  Re-read the =
article, that writer chose to portray that woman in a particular way.  =
Several questions leap to mind:  What are the writers preconceptions =
about disability and sexuality?  How easily could s/he be swayed to a =
'non-sex' point of view and a 'child-like' presentation of developmental =
disability because of a lack of understanding about disability.  Many =
people don't think that even the highest functioning (forgive this =
terminology) people with developmental disabilities should have sex or =
marry.  I participated in a television show about this in Canada and was =
consulted on a tough case regarding parenting and disability ... in both =
cases the research people for the media had horrible prejudices about =
disability that needed to be worked through carefully in order for them =
to be fair in their approach to the issue.

I know of this case in Maine because my name has been involved in some =
of the media coverage, the state had requested that some service =
providers read an early book I wrote called I Contact: Sexuality and =
People with Developmental Disabilities (not a plug it's out of print) =
and a battle ensued over this book.  Nasty things were said about me, my =
book and my work in the press by certain parties, I believe without my =
book or my work ever been read or seen.  The very idea that I Contact =
discussed Sexuality was enough for it to be branded as problematic.

This kind of worries me, I think too that reducing this discussion to =
intercourse demeans sexuality and demeans people with disabilities.  =
Sexuality is much more than intercourse, it's about gender, about a =
sense of self and comfort in one's own skin.  If I go for a full year =
without having intercourse, I'm still a man and still a sexual being.  =
People with developmental disabilities who have severe handicaps are =
sexual beings ... of course.  But the greater the disability the less =
likely they will develop a sexual relationship.  However, I believe that =
the drive and need for intimacy is greater than the drive and need for =
sex.  I also believe that our fear of sexuality has lead to lifetimes of =
no intimacy for people with severe handicaps.  That's why I worry about =
the people in that home.  Even if they have severe handicaps and I'm not =
willing to concede that based on that media report, they still are =
sexual and have intimacy needs.  It is very possible to address intimacy =
needs of people with severe handicaps in ways that don't lead to a =
lawsuit.

Further, the Young Adult Institute has come up with a wonderful way of =
looking at consent in people with disabilities, at all levels of =
disabilities.  People may want to look at it as a resource.  Again I =
recommend Sobsey Violence and Abuse book wherein he presents data to =
show that the greater the disability the more likely the abuse ... =
another concern about a blinded view of people with more severe =
disabilities and sexuality ... it will lead to ignorance or denial of =
abuse issues.  (The protocol for personal care developed in British =
Columbia is a wonderful resource on this.)

Anyways it's late and this was probably far to long a post ... but what =
the heck.

Dave

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